Suicide

We are all interrelated, and this is never more apparent as when someone dies. The ripples of the dead widen across the water of our lives touching all who knew and cared about them.

This week I got news that an old friend from high school committed suicide. I haven’t seen him in years, but I remember him very fondly, and I am deeply saddened.

This is not the first time I’ve dealt with suicide. There was a friend when I was in high school, another in college, and still others who have drunk themselves to death when they should have had years to go. These are funerals that are beyond difficult to experience. Mostly because those of us who are left behind, feel like we should have known about their despair, and done something to help. Yet, the kind of sadness and depression that leads a person to take their own life is not something that they share with others, and it is not something that other people can cure. It is an illness that they often keep secret until it is too late.

A common misconception about Christians is that we believe that those who commit suicide will go to “hell”. Let me be clear. We do not believe this. Nothing is beyond God’s redemption. Nothing.

In my studies at seminary this week we have focused on the parable Jesus tells in Matthew 25: 35-40:
“for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?” And the king will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.”

The common interpretation of this parable is that we are to see the face of God when we see other people in need. That is certainly a good and true interpretation. We see Christ in others, so that Jesus and the “other” become inseparable in our sight. But this parable also demonstrates how interconnected our relationships are with each other, and with God. We are inseparably linked to our relationships. We are who we are as we encounter other people. All of these encounters in our lives matter. God cares for all of God’s creation. God’s creation matters.

Today, for me, this says what I wish all people who consider killing themselves knew deep in their hearts. They matter. They matter to everyone who ever cared about them.

So, to my friend who I haven’t been on a date with in 25 years, who was sweet, and funny and kind, who is now gone, you mattered to me, and many, many others.