Thoughts on Membership

This made me verklempt

2010-07-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

New Orleans- Congress on Evangelism -Part 1

2010-07-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

The Congress on Evangelism January 5-8
The Roosevelt Hotel, New Orleans

FUMC and the Austin District of the UMC sent me to the Congress on Evangelism to learn what I could and report back. I've reported on this to a couple of Sunday school classes, but figured this might amuse the 3 of you who read my blog as well. The theme of the week was Restore, Rebuild & Renew. “…they replied, “Let us start rebuilding,” So they began this good work.” – Nehemiah 2:18
All of the key note speakers spoke to this theme in one way or another.

Tuesday, January 5th
I arrive in New Orleans only to discover that it will not be warmer in this southern city than it is in Austin. In fact a cold-spell is covering most of the United States and it is as cold in New Orleans, LA as it is in Denver, Co. Genius that I am, I did not bring a coat. This leads to a walking tour of the area around the fabulous Roosevelt Hotel (freezing the entire time) where I find a very warm jacket at Foot Locker for $32. Score! The hotel is one of the most beautiful I've ever stayed in. It has just been restored to its pre-Katrina, art-deco splendour and I'm in awe. Thank you Congress on Evangelism for not being at the Motel 6.

I am still cold later that afternoon so I decide to have dinner in the hotel to avoid a trip outside. A sweet Methodist couple from Punxatawny, PA invite me to eat with them, for which I am grateful. I learn about Phil the groundhog and what a wonderful life he leads. The food is wonderful, but it is in incredibly tiny portions (which leads me to eat at McDonalds at 9:30 at night after the service- I am not proud of this but it was close and it was really cold out!).

Every evening started off with worship led by choirs from the surrounding UM churches. It was sublime and emotional. The key note speaker the first evening is Pastor Rudy Rasmus, of St. John’s United Methodist Church in Houston, TX. http://www.pastorrudy.net/ Rasmus took a church with 9 members and turned it into a church with 9000 members. Rasmus is a dynamic preacher and perfect to kick off the conference. There are 620 attendees with perhaps 10% African Americans. I meet people from Montana, Maine, New York, Pennsylvania, Alabama, Georgia, and of course, Louisiana. Everyone loves Pastor Rudy by the end of his sermon.

Rasmus has a small goatee with 3 braids, I'm not going to lie, it looks odd. Rasmus laughs and explains that it is his way of spotting judgmental people from 10 feet away. If they look at him and move in the opposite direction then he knows they don't like jazz musicians... and people who look a little funky. This is the gist of his message. He wants to start a “love revolution”. He says that we can only rebuild when we remember that Jesus used people on the margins of society and put them at the center. Rasmus equates Jesus with unconditional love. He reminds us of John 3:16 AND 17 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

2010-07-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

I don't think of myself as a perfectionist. My house isn't particularly tidy, and my office, try as I might, is cluttered and unorganized. I don't expect perfection from my friends, and I'm usually not too hard on myself when I screw up. But lately I've noticed a tendency in myself that I'd never noticed before. A need to be perfect.

John McMullen's last sermon here at FUMC touched on how the need for perfection can paralyze you into inaction and then our new Pastor John touched on that topic again. That's what happened with this blog. I've been reading so many other blogs that I've given up on writing one myself because I can't measure up to other peoples writing.

I cannot tell you the number of times that I've told my children not to compare themselves to others, and yet I've spent months doing it. Nothing good comes out of beating yourself up because you have not done what the president/movie star/your 2nd cousin has done.

My Greek class is another example of my issues with perfection. I try not to be prideful about most things, but my school work is something that I tend to be pretty proud of. I do well. I expect an A or B+ from myself. Never mind that I work full-time, and have a family, and like to spend some time with my friends, and try to take care of myself physically. Surely I can do everything. Apparently I've been supermom in my own mind.

Until Greek. Greek has beaten my ego to a pulp. I've never been in danger of failing a class. NEVER. I've never had my hair fall out because I am so stressed. I've never encountered a situation where I've given my all, and still found myself floundering. Yet, (and here is my real problem) there are others in my class who are doing just fine.

Ouch.

Who said that I had to be at the top of my class? Who said that I had to compare myself to other people? Who said I had to be perfect?

Not God.

So here is what I think I'm learning this summer. If God can love me despite my many inadequacies, then I should, at the very least, give myself a break. I am not perfect. This is not news.

So I will continue to share some of my random thoughts about membership here for you. Just don't expect perfection. Ha.

Suicide

2010-03-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

We are all interrelated, and this is never more apparent as when someone dies. The ripples of the dead widen across the water of our lives touching all who knew and cared about them.

This week I got news that an old friend from high school committed suicide. I haven’t seen him in years, but I remember him very fondly, and I am deeply saddened.

This is not the first time I’ve dealt with suicide. There was a friend when I was in high school, another in college, and still others who have drunk themselves to death when they should have had years to go. These are funerals that are beyond difficult to experience. Mostly because those of us who are left behind, feel like we should have known about their despair, and done something to help. Yet, the kind of sadness and depression that leads a person to take their own life is not something that they share with others, and it is not something that other people can cure. It is an illness that they often keep secret until it is too late.

A common misconception about Christians is that we believe that those who commit suicide will go to “hell”. Let me be clear. We do not believe this. Nothing is beyond God’s redemption. Nothing.

In my studies at seminary this week we have focused on the parable Jesus tells in Matthew 25: 35-40:
“for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?” And the king will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.”

The common interpretation of this parable is that we are to see the face of God when we see other people in need. That is certainly a good and true interpretation. We see Christ in others, so that Jesus and the “other” become inseparable in our sight. But this parable also demonstrates how interconnected our relationships are with each other, and with God. We are inseparably linked to our relationships. We are who we are as we encounter other people. All of these encounters in our lives matter. God cares for all of God’s creation. God’s creation matters.

Today, for me, this says what I wish all people who consider killing themselves knew deep in their hearts. They matter. They matter to everyone who ever cared about them.

So, to my friend who I haven’t been on a date with in 25 years, who was sweet, and funny and kind, who is now gone, you mattered to me, and many, many others.

Confession Time Again

2010-03-04T14:35:00.000-08:00

I’ve never liked the Gospel of John very much. Don’t stone me, I know it’s beautiful. It does have lovely imagery and poetry that speak to my soul. But at times in Christian history it has been used like a hammer to crush those who believe differently than we do, and I really don’t like that.

People often quote John 3:16 as their favorite verse, “For God so love the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.”

So people say, “See, the bible says the Jesus is the ONLY way to eternal life… therefore everyone else is going to hell. “ What they leave out is the next few verses, “Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Those who believe in him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God.”

What does that mean? Those who do not believe are “condemned already”?

We discussed this in my mission class last week. Professor Jones said that the general understanding is that John believes that we are already living in Hell.

Wow. What an eastern/Hindu worldview– life is misery – salvation is finding a way out of this misery to full life.

John seems to be saying that when we accept Jesus as the unique revealer of God we are lead out of the hell that we already inhabit.

What does that hell look like? A place filled with greed? A place where neighbors do not care for each other? A place where miracles are no longer longed for, because people no longer believe they can happen?

John was adamant that Jesus was God. Jesus was what God looked like in the flesh, and if you could see that, if you could glimpse God, if you could see Jesus' life, and know that God had been here, then your life would never be the same.

You would be saved. Not just in the future “by and by”, but right now.

Now that, I like.

Advent Conspiracy

2009-11-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

A couple of years ago our family instituted a new Christmas policy. We all like presents, and are perfectly good consumers, but it had gotten out of hand. We had mountains of gifts. We just had too much stuff, or maybe it was because we were broke that year, I can't remember which. Perhaps it was a combination, but either way we came up with a new way of doing presents.

Christmas evening, after the kids had opened their gifts, after "It's a Wonderful Life", after a big dinner, we all sit down and tell each other stories.

We tend to hand out the writing prompt on Thanksgiving - "What is your favorite childhood memory?" was our first attempt. The next year we each picked a name out of a hat and we had to write something about the family member whose name we'd picked.

We usually write about a page's worth. Then we hand out our pages, and everyone reads someone else's thoughts. This is to cut down on the tears. Sometimes our stories are ridiculously funny, and sometimes we cry.

This has turned into the most anticipated part of Christmas Day for the Stuart/Miller/Thomas households. What will Grandpa write about this year? What embarassing story will Jen tell about her sister?

So as we move into Advent I encourage you to think of ways that can make this season more meaningful to you and yours.

Check out www.adventconspiracy.org for other ideas.

Questions for You

2009-09-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

I'm back in school again and loving it! I'm learning all about the history of the Methodist Church. You know what? It's not boring! Strange, I know.

Anyway, in my studies I came across this list of questions that John Wesley used in his "small groups". Wesley formed folks into groups for accountability and further bible study. Sounds familiar doesn't it? He believed that the real spiritual work happened in these "societies" and I think he is right. Anyone can have an epiphany as part of an emotional worship service. The question is can you keep that feeling and have it inform your everyday life? Now that is more difficult.

I'm not going to lie. These questions are hard hitting. But I really think they are helpful. What do you think?

The 22 Questions of John Wesley’s Holy Clubs

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
3. Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told to me in confidence?
4. Can I be trusted?
5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habits?
6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying or self-justifying?
7. Did the Bible live in me today?
8. Do I give it time to speak to me every day?
9. Am I enjoying prayer?
10.When did I last speak to someone else about my faith?
11. Do I pray about the money I spend?
12. Do I go to bed on time and get up on time?
13. Do I disobey God in anything?
14. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
15. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
16. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
17. How do I spend my spare time?
18. Am I proud?
19. Do I thank God that I am not like other people?
20. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard?
21. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
22. Is Christ real to me?

I love this

2009-08-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

Practicing What We Preach

2009-07-08T13:51:00.000-07:00

"One of the great tragedies of life is that men seldom bridge the gulf between practice and profession, between doing and saying." MLK Jr.

There are some people who do not see strangers, only potential friends, only children of God. Surely they are the angels in our midst.

This past Sunday there was a slightly unkempt homeless man sitting on the steps of the Sanctuary building looking rather forlorn. Most people walked on by. He was bearded and wearing a jumpsuit reminiscent of a superman costume. We who work downtown have become accustomed to people like him.

But an angel of the Lord came and sat beside this man. She introduced herself and asked him his name. She wanted to know if there was anything she could do for him. He said he was hungry and started to cry. The angel took him by the hand, led him into the church and fed him coffee, juice and donuts. She sat with him in worship and put her arm around him so that others would know that he was with her. They wept together as the preacher talked about suffering and grace and God’s love.

After the service she took him to her home. She let him take a shower, fed him a big lunch, and gave him new clothes. She listened to him and prayed with him. Then her sweet husband drove the man back downtown, clean and refreshed.

This act of faith humbles me. This act of faith disturbs me. How can I ever live up to that?

Do angels come to live among us to shake us out of our complacency? Was Jesus serious when he said, “Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple?”

God, help me practice what I preach. Amen.

Jesus on Death Row

2009-06-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

The death penalty is a funny thing.

Not funny ha ha. Just funny. In a state where hundreds of folks will come out to the state capitol to protest against abortion, taxes, and the licensing of interior designers… we can only get 24 to show up to talk about the death penalty at this church right across the street.

Professor Mark Osler of Baylor Law School came to talk about his book “Jesus on Death Row”. He is a graduate of Yale Law and a former prosecutor. He now teaches classes on sentencing and professional ethics. He pointed out some very interesting parallels between the Texas justice system and the process that Jesus went through to be put to death.

My friend Sara did a concert series across the state last year trying to raise awareness about the death penalty. The crowds were less than overwhelming.

Texans don’t want to talk about the death penalty. By and large we buy into the idea of retributive justice. If you take a life, you will lose your life. I understand that. The myth of retributive violence is all around us.

Our non-violent heroes are few. Jesus, Ghandi, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr are all I can think of. Our heroes who fix the world by doing violence to the offender? That list goes on and on.

Jesus taught another way. That way is a hard thing to keep in mind when a loved one has died a terrible death.

People do horrible things to each other. I’m sure that in the heat of the moment I would take a life to defend my own or another’s.

It’s just that if I follow the words of the one who started this whole Christianity thing, I should have a hard time judging others. I should have a harder time condemning them to death. Things get complicated. Osler pointed out that when Jesus came across a legal execution he challenged the moral authority of the crowd, “Let you who are without sin cast the first stone.” No one did.

Do you know why we use lethal injection? Professor Osler said that it is because it’s the most palatable to watch for the families of the victims. Generally speaking, most people don’t want to watch someone being shot or hung to death, unless it’s in a video game. Too violent and bloody. Death is funny like that.

By the way, we just killed our 439th prisoner on death row. We are first in something. We are the state that has legally killed the most people. Something to be proud of. Ha ha.

The UM General Board of Church and Society invites you to learn more at www.deathpenaltyinfo.org .

10 Things I Learned at Annual Conference - stimulating title I know

2009-06-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well folks,
I went to my first BIG meeting of the Methodists. Yes, my first Southwest Texas Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church! This is where all the Methodists in our conference come together to worship, hash things out, update each other on what’s going on in the global church, and look for ideas to improve our own church homes. It wasn’t as bad as I was led to believe! I’d heard tales of food poisoning, jelly fish and endless meetings, but only experienced one of those. Corpus Christi was beautiful, had a constant breeze and the people were so friendly. So here is my top 10 list of things I learned at my first Annual Conference

#10 Our conference is going to spend the next 6 months raising money for Nothing but Nets. This is our first big push working together to further one of our stated goals “Stamping out the killer disease of poverty by improving health globally.” We can end Malaria if we pull together and help developing nations. We will be starting in Sierra Leone, but that is just the beginning…

#9 Eating a delicious, greasy, fried hamburger and fries at Hurbs might sound like a good idea. It’s not.

#8 Our new Bishop is really funny and seems like a guy you’d want to hang out with. Plus he moved the meetings right along. Good job Bishop Dorff.

#7 As in the rest of society, the churches for the most part, were divided by race. I hate that. How do we fix that?

#6 I’m bringing fruit for the FUMC Austin table next time. Sitting for hours with a big fat bowl of candy in front of you does not make you feel sleek when you go down to the pool later in the day after all the meetings.

#5 Methodists really do like to sing. I love that. And it wasn’t all songs from 1782. We can rock the house!

#4 It was great to see people who disagreed on matters of polity do so with respect and cordiality. Thank you to all who expressed their views in that manner. I wish we could be like that all the time.

#3 If you see jelly fish on the beach why would you get into the water? There is no good reason unless you are just into pain. I am not into pain. I really wish I hadn’t gotten into the water.

#2 This church is very lucky to have Beverly Silas representing us. She serves on the Board of Church and Society. She knows the in’s and out’s of all the policy, people and places that are discussed. Go talk to Beverly if you have questions about the church. She’ll know the answer.

#1 NEVER let your husband exit the house for a long car trip with a RUSH CD hidden on his person. It was bad enough in the early 1980’s but to listen to it now is pure torture.

Conversations

2009-05-25T10:49:00.000-07:00

My prayer life is a running conversation with God. Something irritating happens, I talk to God, try not to blame, feel myself blaming, give it up to God and go on with my day.
Or maybe I see something amazing and thank God for putting me in this place to see this amazing thing.

That is my day, continually trying to give things up to God, knowing in my heart, that I cannot fix things by myself. Although, I do keep trying.

At this point in my existence I’m finding it hard to just sit down and pray. I’d much rather go for a walk, and feel the wind and the sun, work off some calories, and know that God is with me. A walking prayer.

At different times I’ve beaten myself up for not being Thomas Merton and meditating for hours, but for now I’m doing alright.

I disagree with opening up the bible and just praying on the text you come across. I know it works for some people, but I inevitably open up to some horrible text in Judges. Have you ever read Judges? There are some truly nasty stories in there. Really, awful stuff. Seems to me, that there is a whole lot of the bible that needs context to open it up. Certainly before I can meditate on it. That could just be me, but I offer that up to you.

Here are my prayers for the last hour.

Thank you God for my children, even though they can be really whiny and selfish- they make me laugh and wonder
Thank you for my sister - she is so funny and kind
Thank you for not striking me down when I cuss on occasion - I’m working on it.

Amen

Invisible Children

2009-04-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

What did you do on a Saturday night when you were in college? Watch the game? Try to find a ride to your boyfriend’s house? Drink beer? Or was that just me? Well not these kids. Saturday afternoon hundred’s of college students and friends from across the state camped out on the Capitol lawn to bring attention to the plight of child soldiers in Uganda.

People, I don’t think I could’ve found Uganda on a map in my undergraduate years! Yet here these students are camped out, taking a stand for children halfway across the world.

Heather Chestnut, one of our newest members and UT student, gave me the lowdown. The event is called “The Rescue”. It happened in 10 countries in 100 cities. The idea was that the people camping out at the Capitol had to wait to be “rescued” by a celebrity of some sort who would bring media attention to the subject. They need to be rescued just as the children of Uganda need to be rescued. In Uganda the army led by Joseph Kony abducts children in the night and forces them to fight in the army. Stealing their childhoods and introducing these children to a nightmare of violence.

“Unlike any generation before, we are a generation that does not differentiate a person’s worth by geography. Rather, we possess a global outlook. We grew up online with technology at our fingertips and pen pals in New Delhi and New Zealand. Therefore, we have a greater sense of connectedness that compels us to fight for our friends’ freedom.” This comes from the brochure they were handing out. You can learn more at www.invisiblechildren.com.

When I went out to check on them yesterday afternoon the tents were mostly down and the kids were hopeful that someone would show up to save them.

I hope someone showed up to rescue them today. The rain is fairly ugly out there. Maya Angelou … Governor… Lance… anyone?

Art

2009-03-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

This Lenten season we have two of our resident artists working on banners for us. Danette Ward is painting the Sanctuary banner and Jan Morris is working on the Chapel banner. Over these seven weeks they are both adding to their paintings as a representation of the journey through Lent to Easter. We Methodists are exceedingly good at words, but not always at feelings too deep for words. This is what art is for. Often a painting can get at a feeling that you yourself cannot voice. I share weeks one and two with you to deepen your journey.

Prayer

2009-02-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

Young Son and I put together this video for you. It represents many things to me.

I leave it to you to interpret as you will. Art is in the eye of the beholder.

The origami prayer birds will be used in an art installation here during Lent and Easter. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eX7bQyo910

Ode to Zulu

2009-02-11T12:58:00.000-08:00

We put our 17 year old cat, Zulu, to sleep this week. Frankly, we weren’t expecting to have to do that. I firmly believed that she was going to live forever yacking all over the furniture.

My husband saved Zulu when she was a few weeks old. She and four of her kitty sisters were wandering around east 17th mewling, with no owner in sight. Derek and his college buddy swooped them up and took them home to live in their bachelor pad. At one point they had at least 10 cats in that house. If those guys were women they would have been those “crazy cat ladies”. When we married we ended up with three of them.

Zulu was the quiet cat. She was sweet and patient with everyone, even when my girls were small and pulling on her tail. Not as proud and haughty as her kitty sister, Farrah (who was a beautiful princess and expected to be treated as such), and not as loud and dirty as her kitty friend Muerta (a big, fat, dirty, lovable, stinky cat). Zulu loved to sit in the sun, observe the birds, and most of all sit in Derek’s lap and purr. She was happiest there hiding her head under his arm while he stroked her back. This is how we chose to let her die. Lying in the arms she felt safest in.

As I grow older the prayers of lamenting become dearer to me. Prayers of pain can be comforting. Just knowing that others, thousands of years ago in far-away places, felt the same things that we feel.

Psalm 31:9 says,
“Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.”

Grief is not an unknown in my house. In recent memory we have lost the two cats previously mentioned, a great uncle, an aunt, a grandmother and a deeply wanted pregnancy. With each loss we struggle with how to express our sense of sorrow. My youngest daughter had the truest response. Derek sat her down and told her that Zulu had died, she sobbed in his arms for a few minutes and then lifted her grief racked head and said, “Does Sissy know? Let me tell her!” A completely honest reaction. I’m suffering, but it will be better if I share my pain with my sister.

So I share my pain with you, my church family. A cat is not a grandmother or an aunt, but she was a member of our family for 17 years and we miss her.

Am I my brother's keeper?

2009-01-27T11:59:00.000-08:00

I have been haunted by something that happened a few weeks ago while I was in the car with my kids.

I’d picked up three of my girls friends to take with us to church. The eldest was going to MYF with Clara. The two younger girls were coming back to my house to play with Ava. These kids are refugees from East Africa. They are hilarious, fun loving, sweet... kids.

We were talking about animals. The girls were asking about our cats and dogs - which they’ve been afraid of every time they’ve been to our house. There are not many house pets in refugee camps, and dogs especially were not friendly to them in Africa. But the girls seemed like they wanted to get over their fears. Our cats intrigue them.

Anyway, they started regaling us with tales of animals that they had seen and liked. Giraffes, elephants, monkeys, snakes. We were all laughing. Clara started telling them how afraid I was of snakes and everyone proceded to make fun of me. I’m cool with it. My fear of snakes doesn’t make much sense, but it’s not one of those fears I’m eager to face. (Please, don’t bring a snake to the office to help me get over my fear, please).

I finally said,” Fine, fine, everyone make fun of me, what are you guys afraid of?” The eldest replied easily, “the soldiers.”

I caught my breath.

Then all three children broke out with descriptions of how scary the soldiers were and when you saw them you better run before the bullets started and people started falling all around you.

These kids are 6 and 8 and 14. This is their experience.

The kids all continued in their conversations as if nothing had happened. I felt like the ground had shifted underneath my feet.

I still do.

Am, I my brother’s keeper? What do I do with this?

I don’t know. But I'm listening God.

I'm listening.

Being Present

2008-11-30T12:55:00.000-08:00

Advent
Time for waiting and a time for being present. I took this picture yesterday at the Chuy's Parade. My youngest was on the GSD&M float with her buddy io and SuperPal Universe (a band - for those of you over the age of 18). She was so excited. So joyful. So present. I'm going to try to be just like my 7 year old during this Advent season.

Joyful, excited, present.

HOPE

2008-11-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

"Hope arises out of the hard truth of how things are. Christians will always live carrying in one hand the promises of how it will be and in the other hand the hard reality of how it is. To deny either is to hold only half the truth of the gospel."
Craig Barnes

Every time I think about the reality of our President-Elect I get teary eyed. Whatever your political affiliation, its exciting/moving/mind-boggling that we Americans have lived up to the promise of America. That black children today will grow with the knowledge that they really can be President of the United States.

I'm studying Eschatology in school today. Eschatology generally means the study of end times. The essay I'm reading by Martha L Moore-Keish states well how I'm feeling about my faith and America today. "The eschatological character of the Christian faith means that we have hope in the power of God over all that would hurt or destroy. We have confidence in God's ultimate purposes and goals for the restoration of creation... Eschatology is not about idle speculation about who will be "left behind" at the rapture; it is about our hope in God. Furthermore, Christian eschatology affirms not only that we have hope that God will triumph over evil in some future time, but also that we participate already in that future."

I like that. We are participating in our future. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character," said the prophet. His dream has in large part come true for America.

We are participating in our future. Amen.

My Christian History Class Rocks

2008-11-09T06:41:00.000-08:00

Cathy Stone and I started seminary on September 2nd. It’s exhilarating to be back in the world of academia! It’s also nice to have my buddy Cathy with me for this journey.

It is completely different from my undergraduate experience. Seriously, the difference between 17 and 37 isn’t just 20 years. I am currently euphoric that my first paper in 15 years (for my worship class) received a B+. I was worried.
But what I’m really, super-duper loving, is my Christian History Class. I am without reservation turning into a serious history nerd. I’ve always heard about saints, but never really paid attention to them. I'm Methodist for heavens sake. I knew that Martin Luther King Jr. was named after Martin Luther, some Lutheran dude from way back, but I had no idea… the passion, the drama, the torture. Christian history is reshaping my understanding of all of our beliefs.

So here are a few tidbits from my class. I have to share them with someone. My 11 year old doesn’t want to hear about them anymore. Imagine that.

• Gnostics had some funky ideas. Creation is evil. Your body is bad. Not hard to see why this faction didn’t last.
• The Nicene Creed was written in 325 A.D. Emperor Constantine called a council to decide whether Jesus was God. They decided he was.
• In the 12th century there were wonderful communities of women called Beguines in France. Their neighbors loved them, the church did not. They wanted to worship God and live in community. Many were burned at the stake for that crazy idea.
• The Peasants Revolt (1524-1525) was spurred by Luther’s letter Appeal to the German Nobility (read it). 6000 peasants were killed and Luther was horrified. The serfs had the notion that serfdom was contrary to Christian freedom. The German elite thought otherwise.
• Menno Simons saved the Anabaptist movement from its revolutionary elements. He was spurred to leadership after his brother and many others were slaughtered at Munster for some admittedly bizarre beliefs. His followers are now the pacifist Mennonites.
• As far as I can tell, no Christian groups tolerated any other Christian groups. Really. I mean they tortured and killed other Christians (not to mention non-Christians) if they had any doctrinal differences. It’s really depressing.

So here is to being a Christian in the 21st century. We argue about all kinds of things, but generally speaking, in this country (I know there are exceptions), we don’t kill each other over them. Can I get an AMEN!

Don Snow Saint and Sinner

2008-07-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

I miss Don Snow.

When you work in a church you meet all kinds of people who touch your life in different ways. Don was one of a kind.

He was a big man with a deep radio voice, and a fat Dalmatian named Lexie, that he brought with him everywhere. This immediately made me love Don, because I too have an unnatural love for dumb Dalmatians.

If you look around on this website you can find Don’s faith story. When I was working on the “Welcome Video” for the church Don volunteered to help me out. I was looking for members from all of the different worship services to say something short about their service. I had a script written. Don threw it away.

About that time, Young and I had the idea to run a series of Faith Stories of our members on the website. I asked Don if he was interested in us taping him. Don said no, he had preached his faith story at a service in the chapel a few years earlier. He told me that it was too painful to repeat, but that I could transcribe it if I wanted to. What you see under “Faith Stories” is what he wanted to say to welcome people. What you can’t see is that Lexie was there at his feet in the Sanctuary, sitting there quietly while we taped. And then I listened to Don's faith story.

Don’s story killed me.

I sat here in my office last summer listening, transfixed by his voice and his pain. I wish I’d been there that night in the chapel to hear it in person. Instead I transcribed it, stopping, sniffling, typing, repeating, typing some more, and crying quite a bit. My officemate, Tami, came in to make sure I wasn’t having a nervous breakdown. I tried hard to impart the rhythm of his story and his sincere love of this church family. It is not perfect, but when you read it, you get the sense of him.

Don understood that the church wasn’t for perfect people.

The church is a place to catch your breath, reassess, center yourself, and be with other imperfect people who are trying to turn to God just like you. Turning to God is easy during the good times, but hard, so hard during the bad. To quote Don, “At a time when I couldn’t talk to God in a rational, reasonable, even polite voice, like the disciples on the road to Emmaus, God found a way to talk to me. God showed me the face of Christ in a whole lot of people. Many of them here at this church and it was a really good thing. It helped me survive and for that I am grateful.”

Don and I spoke quite a bit about how we missed some of the saints of this church who had passed on in recent years. It’s a strange thing to realize that he is one of those saints now.
That has got to have him laughing.

I miss you Don Snow.

WORSHIP +2

2008-07-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

Here’s the thing. Methodist’s lose their pastors.
Once a pastor is ordained in the Methodist Church they are subject to itinerancy. This goes back to the founder of Methodism, John Wesley, and it is not going to change anytime soon. Pastors are moved to where the District Superintendent thinks that they will do the best job, or where that pastor is needed the most.
This is good and bad.
Good because pastors are spread around and get to learn about the people from different parts of their district.
Good because all of the “superstar preachers” are not centered at one church.
Good because if you have a pastor that you aren’t thrilled with, don’t worry, that pastor will be moved eventually!
Bad because we feel a great sense of loss when our favorite preachers move on. This leads to all sorts of bad feelings about the church, when the truth of the matter is change is inevitable. Pastors will be moved and they know that.
Why am I telling you this?
Worship +2 can you help you! Worship +2 is our way of saying that we want you fully connected with this body of Christ. Yes, we want you in worship, but we also want you to meet other people in this church and feel connected to them. +2 is an encouragement to join a small group and a mission project.
Why?
Because if you are only connected with a worship service, or the preacher in that worship service, you are bound to suffer when that person leaves.
Small groups include Sunday school classes, book groups, Bible studies, choir, committees, whatever. They are a way to stay engaged with the people that make up this body. My Sunday school class, Genesis, has held me together more times than I can say. Through the good times and the bad those people have been there for me. And we were there for each other when one of our favorite associate pastors, Beverly Slusher, moved on to her own church some years ago.
Mission projects are the lifeblood of this church. They remind us that we must live out our faith through our treatment of “the least of these.” We have had people go to Russia, New Mexico, Kentucky and Mexico to extend our helping hands just this past year. We work extensively in the Austin community to feed and clothe those who have no place to go. We mentor children from disadvantaged households. We build and fix homes of the elderly and poor. Through this work our hearts are changed, and we in our middle class hearts learn that God is working to change us too, not just those whom we are helping. When you work on a project like some of these mentioned you build relationships with the people you are working with, and this too will help you connect with this body of Christ.
So here is my challenge to you: embrace Worship +2. Get involved with a class, and look for a mission that speaks to your heart. Your life, and the life of this church community will be enriched. And it might help you get through the sadness I see coming down the pike, when our beloved pastors retire.

Jim Wallis on Hope and Cynicism

2008-05-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

Jim Wallis rocked the pulpit this week. His speech left me with much to ponder, but one of the last things he said struck me the hardest because of events at the church earlier in the week. Wallis asked us not to give in to cynicism. He said that hope is a choice. “Hope is believing in spite of the evidence, and watching the evidence change. Commitment makes you feel vulnerable, so cynicism is a buffer against commitment. It's a safe place. A sanctuary. Cynics are against the bad stuff. But they have given up hope, and decided to hunker down and protect their own security.”

A story from last Sunday: David Bonner is one of our three custodians. He is handsome, has a dry sense of humor, works very hard, and is a black man. He was out early last Sunday morning blowing the leaves off the steps of the church as we have done for the past 25 years. If you drive through downtown Austin on almost any day of the week, you will find all kinds of yard people blowing leaves into the street. Last Sunday, two police officers saw David with the blower, and started harassing him, asking if he was blowing litter into the gutters, and looking for corroboration from folks at the bus stop. They proceeded to start writing David a ticket for littering, and would have, had our Church Administrator, Jim Weaver, a white man, not stopped them. (In fact, he had quite a bit to say to the officers, who left sheepishly, according to those who witnessed this occurrence.)

When I heard this story, it was all I could do not to break down in
tears. I knew immediately in my heart, that had it been me out there blowing leaves, this would not have happened. David looked at me holding back my tears like I’d lost my mind. A black man in America knows that he is going to be harassed just because…

Now, I know that this is just a little thing, no one was killed or hurt, but it makes me so sad. If this small example of racism could happen in Austin, TX, in 2008, what else happens that I have no idea about? How difficult is it to be a person of color in America and not be cynical? How on earth can I make a difference?

Rev. Wallis says that we could be the people that make the evidence change. Change WILL happen if we have the commitment to make it happen. We, us, NOT any politician or political party.

I don’t have a big answer. But I have hope. I have hope in my children. I have hope in you. I have hope that one day none of us are going to have to step in and speak up on behalf of David just because…

This is my choice. I won’t be cynical. But it still makes me sad.

Back to UnChristian

2008-04-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

The full title of this book is "UnChristian - What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity and Why it Matters". Authors, David Kinnamon and Gabe Lyons, took three years to research the book through interviews and surveys. Their conclusions are fascinating, sad, and rather eye opening. If we think of our Christian faith as being about love and redemption, we have done a mighty bad job of communicating that to the young people in America. This research was conducted with, what the authors term the “Mosaic” generation (born between 1982 and 2002) and the “Buster” generation (born between 1965 and 1983), and for the future of the Christian church it is essential that we not ignore what they have to say about us. There are six general themes that the book addresses. Young adults perceive modern American Christianity as being: hypocritical, too focused on getting converts, anti-homosexual, sheltered, too political and judgmental. Not at all how I see myself! But let’s go down the list one at a time, and see if we can look at ourselves though the eyes of an outsider.

Theme #1 “Hypocritical”- This one is easy. The definition of Hypocrisy is “The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness”. However, “Mosaics and Busters” are not interested in the Websters definition. Hypocritical means to say one thing and to do another, as far as they are concerned.

Well, shoot, they have us there.

The commandments that Jesus asked us to follow above all others are “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' "The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." (NAS, Mark 12:28-31).”

Virtually impossible!

We live in America where we love money and celebrity above everything else, with God as a possible close third. Love our neighbors? Does that mean Mexicans and Canadians? AND the person with the dirty RV parked on the street? Cause if it does, forget about it. We love our neighbors if they have a pretty garden and their dog doesn’t poop in our yard, and we don’t have to pay for their medical care.
I am going to have to meditate on the other chapters of this book on another day. I am too indicted by theme #1 to go any further today.

JUST SAY HELLO

2008-02-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

I think it is hard to be a member of a church. So much is expected of us. I am reading a new book titled UnChristian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons that chronicles their research on attitudes towards Christians, and it isn’t pretty. Here is an excerpt from the website, "Christians are supposed to represent Christ to the world. But according to the latest report card, something has gone terribly wrong. Using descriptions like “hypocritical,” “insensitive,” and “judgmental,” young Americans share an impression of Christians that’s nothing short of . . . unChristian."

OUCH! I will share more with you as I get deeper into the book, but first let me make a simple suggestion. It might seem elementary, but it is one that can make a huge difference in someone’s impression of you as a Christian. The first step you can take to help change attitudes towards Christians is to just say hello. “Jen”, you say, “What are you talking about”?

I’m talking about looking around in worship and saying hello to the people sitting next to you. It’s that simple. "Jen", you say again, “I don’t know those people, or maybe they look familiar so I should know them but I can’t remember their names and I don’t want to embarrass myself”, or “Jen, give me a break, I’m shy and I don’t like to talk to other people”, or “Jen those folks look funky and not like people that I want to be hanging out with.” Excuses people. We cannot depend on the greeters and ushers to be the only members of this congregation who talk to guests. We should all be showing our Christian love by welcoming everyone who comes through our doors. I’m not asking you to hike around the sanctuary or chapel and greet everyone you meet. Just say hello to the folks next to you and see how their faces change. Notice how this simple greeting can make folks feel more at home and welcome.
Let me also say that I know what it’s like to come to worship for just myself & my renewal. Sometimes you feel so broken that it is all you can do just to get to church. I understand that. I am not asking for much…..just say hello.

Rehearsing

2008-01-06T13:32:00.000-08:00

When I was younger than I am today I was in a play with a guy who gave one of the best auditions ever. It was great. I had the lead role and was thrilled at the thought of working with this man. At the same time there was a woman that I read with who gave an amazingly bad audition. Really, I was embarrassed for her. But the director knew her and she ended up with the part. Go figure.
My favorite part of the entire process of putting on a play is the rehearsal period. Rehearsal is where you try different ideas out, act silly, overblown, take big chances, and act like a fool in the hope that you will - in this rehearsal process – find the place that your character needs to be. When your character is in the right place then the audience will be moved and you will have done your job. If you are working with good actors than you have faith that your fellow cast members will not judge you and will allow you to experiment to your hearts content. By the end of the rehearsal process you have (hopefully) winnowed down to the essence of who you want your character to be.
You can probably see where this is going. The woman I was so sure would be awful was wonderful. She tried something new everyday in rehearsal. She was way too big, and then had days when you could hardly hear her, but she was constantly working. She was an absolute joy to work with. When we finally opened the production she gave a beautifully nuanced performance that challenged the entire cast to be better every time they were on stage with her.
The guy, on the other hand, drove me absolutely insane. His performance on the last day of that show was the exact same as the day of his audition. He wasn’t interested in experimenting. He had his own ideas about who his character was and it wasn’t going to be changed by anything that any of the rest of us did. He had not grown one bit.
Isn’t this what life in the church is like?
Sometimes we are stuck in a rut and not ready for change. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what beautiful music we have heard during a service or the people we have spent time with during worship, we came into church with a hard heart and we are going to stay that way.
Other times we may not be at our personal best, but we come with an open heart and we hear the message that we needed to hear and we leave changed for the better.
Perhaps this church is our rehearsal process together.
We come to hear a message and hope to carry that message with us throughout our week. Sometimes we get it and sometimes we don’t. Either way we keep coming to this safe place where we are accepted even on our bad acting days. I am thankful to be in this rehearsal process with you.

Diversity

2007-11-15T10:55:00.000-08:00

If you ever see me here on Sunday morning looking like my head is about to explode there is a very good reason. I have a 10-year-old daughter who likes to ask me really difficult questions on the way to church. All of the body (you know what I am talking about), mind and spirit questions have been asked of me at about 7:45 a.m. at some point this year. I usually have a somewhat reasonable response ready, but early this year she asked me a question that I had no real good answer for, “Why does everybody at our church look just like me?” This got me to thinking…
I grew up in Miami, a very integrated city, my friends were white, African American, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Haitian, Jamaican and race wasn’t really something you had to think about. Don’t get me wrong this was the early 80’s and if you’ve seen Scarface then you know if wasn’t perfect, BUT an integrated populace was just part of life.
Now we live in Austin, TX. A wonderful town full of good hearted, open-minded people who in my experience have no racial prejudices and YET this town is very segregated. Why? How should I answer my daughter’s question? How do we cross that color divide?
I think we have to be intentional. If it is not happening in other parts of our lives then I think it is the church’s place to make opportunities for us to cross that color line.
Huston Tillotson is a historically black university here in town supported by the Methodist church. Rebecca Fly, one of their staff members came to us with a small request. She spoke at our two 11:00 services this past week about how we could help some of their International students feel welcome here in America. The students are here for almost a full year without their families and support networks. Rebecca asked us to invite one of these students into our homes to spend holidays with, to invite to family or church events, to come see them if they are participating in school events. She invites us to be a friend to a student while they are here in America,” A stranger in a strange land”. So here is a chance for us to be intentional.
What do you all think? Do you value diversity in worship? Should we be working to make our congregation more diverse?

Reminding Myself

2007-10-16T09:49:00.000-07:00

There was an interesting article in the Austin American Statesman recently about what constitutes membership in a Presbyterian church. The opposing sides talked about what you need to believe versus a commitment to living out the gospel no matter what belief you espouse to. In the United Methodist church when we become a member of a congregation, we vow to support the church with our prayers, our presence, our gifts and our service. I think its hard to live out any of the vows of membership without first being present at church.
At least for me, I can make all the vows I want to, but if I’m not reminded of what I promised to do, I forget. I don’t mean to forget. I just do. Between the demands of work, family, the Girl Scouts, and the PTA, I’m bound to forget at least one thing every week. My husband, after 14 years of marriage, still has hopes that I will get better at remembering if I just have a list. The problem is I forget the list.
Luckily, I have my husband, my kids, and my friends who will remind me of what I am supposed to do.
That is what this church is to me. It’s a reminder of who I really want to be. It is a place to work towards the Kingdom of God. It is a family of people who care about me and who gently remind me to do better. When I am present, I am reminded to pray, to give, and to serve others. That means I only have to remember one thing - to show up.